it had to happen sometime

it had to happen sometime
Jocelyn on Monday, October 19, 1998 - 08:56 am:

yeah, it had to happen some time that the sex topic got introduced to this page.

the ironic part is that i'm the one introducing it, because even though talking about sex takes up 80% of my time and energy, i really don't even like sex and usually only participate begrudgingly.

i mean, except for that phase in college.

anyway, kim, don't let then give you shit about putting the image of you and slap sweating through sex in our minds. you and i both know that when the topic of sweat started getting explored everybody thought about it anyway. personally, it made my morning.

i don't know. i'm thinking of making sex the next thing i give up all together. i started with cigarettes. i've almost given up alcohol. it seems like sex should be the next step.

i feel better now that i've said all that.


By Avery on Monday, October 19, 1998 - 09:15 am:


You do realize that Shawn reads this board, don't you... or have you already approached him regarding your neo-abstinence?

By Nothingliketellinghimthisway on Monday, October 19, 1998 - 10:30 am:

i just came to the neo-abstinence conclusion this weekend. i'd been thinking about it before, but then this weekend i was having personal time (it was beautiful running weather in monterrey) and kind of decided that i really didn't even want to bother with it anymore. i usually have other things i'd rather be spending my time doing, like jogging.

so no, this is pretty much new to most people. i mean, not that part about my not liking sex, most people know that, but the part about giving it up all together.

By Salivating slap on Monday, October 19, 1998 - 10:54 am:

well.. uh... well.

I have nothing to say otehr than: I have created a monster. The only reason Kimme hasn't posted here today is that she's at work.

now I gotta build another computer and get another phone line and all of that...


maybe I'll become neo-abstinent, too.

By Avery the Alarmed on Monday, October 19, 1998 - 11:03 am:


You? Neo-abstinent? Talk about bringing a new connotation to the term "Slappy-Jack"

By Kimme 1972-98 r.i.p. on Monday, October 19, 1998 - 12:56 pm:

Oh lord. Don't know what to say. Had a feeling I was crossing the line when I brought it up a couple of days ago, but was just inebriated enough not to censor myself.

Slap comes home in less than three hours. If you don't hear from me again, you all know what happened...

By Skitch on Monday, October 19, 1998 - 04:43 pm:

From "The Simpsons"

Homer: Which one's Selma, again?
Marge: She's the one who likes Police Academy movies and Hummel figurines, and walking through the park on clear autumn days.
Homer: Oh, yeah yeah yeah. But I thought she was the one that didn't like to be ... you know ... touched.
Marge: It's Patty who chose a life of celibacy. Selma simply had celibacy thrust upon her.

By Paul of the Penis Perfection on Monday, October 19, 1998 - 08:05 pm:

I don't know, I don't think Jocelyn could give up sex entirely. Too many people live vicariously through her sex life, and if she gives up sex, who will fill that gap?

I would volunteer, but I haven't been getting any lately.

Any takers? I think Jocelyn deserves a rest.


By Avery the Apoplexic on Monday, October 19, 1998 - 10:06 pm:

Paul... where the heck have you been... haven't seen you at the Toronado in ages!

Too bad you're not gettting any... I'd be sympathetic, but one of the perks about being married is that you have a guaranteed partner. I couldn't even fathom having to go through that whole dating scene again.


In more upbeat news, tune in tomorrow morning and see if Kimme makes it through the night... or if Slappy's next post will be from the County Lockup!

By Jocelyn on Tuesday, October 20, 1998 - 09:38 am:

kimme? kimme? did you survive? give us a shout.

in other remarks - i do deserve a rest, though i am, in fact, anxious to try out paul's post sex survey.


By Smutmaster Slap on Monday, October 26, 1998 - 08:55 am:

Kimme is doin just fine.

A few of you that I talk to know of my new gig, and I thought this would be the best place to tell y'all:
I got a gig working as a sysadmin for a company that does webdesign and hosting - that bit is growing right now. I'm gonna be runing UNIX and NT (IIS) servers.

The one thing that may kinda piss people off is the main moneymaker for the site: Streaming live boobie-chicks 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.


By Jocelyn on Monday, October 26, 1998 - 09:36 am:

slap - congrats. i'm proud of you. i long have coveted a job in the porn industry. you're, like, my new role model. what the mind can conceive the body can achieve. it's good to live your dreams.