Long time readers should remember the glory days of Scowl, Nu?, the online journal that Janet and I kept in 1998 and 1999 which chronicled pretty much everything that pissed us off... and in San Francisco we certainly had a lot that pissed us off!
Then we moved to Hartford and nothing really pissed us off to the extent that it used to... and a month or so after moving here, we stopped updating the site.
Even though I don't miss the constant hostility, bile and anger that I had while living in San Francisco... I do miss our plucky little Scowl, Nu? and think about starting it up again... and on February 3, I had an epiphany of anger! Quickly I wrote down some notes so I wouldn't forget. Tonight I thought of more things that were pissing me off. As I write these down, I realize that no matter where I live, there's enough to turn my crank to the point that I just have to write it down. I now present to you quite possibly the reincarnation of a long lost friend...
[Avery] 2/3/00
The over-dramatic Channel Three News Team was fifteen minutes
into their monologue (I mean news report) when the Anchorette
introduced the story of a Texas State Trooper who, while dealing
with a routine traffic stop, ended up delivering a healthy baby.
Oh, yes, all praise Officer Turner! Hallelulia!
After pulling over a van for a speeding violation, Officer Turner was startled when a car carrying two women pulled up behind his squad car. Turner informed the men in the van to stay put while he placed his hand on his holster and went back to assess the situation. In the car was a pair of women, one of which was in an advanced stage of labor and was just about to bear down and drop her kid in a "very special episode of ER-esque moment."
The police surveillance camera caught Turner on tape screaming at the men in the van to "get back" when they came out to see if there was anything they could do to help. He was not in control of the situation. Of course, the reporter made no mention of that.
Then, after the child was born and the men in the van repeatedly asked if they could help, the frantic gun-bearing police officer ordered the men to "pray to sweet Jesus for the child." Of course, the reporter never mentioned that the officer of the law, the government-sanctioned protector of our constitutional right to the separation of church and state trampled upon the civil rights of the accused speeders by ordering these people to pray. Over and over Officer Thomas demanded that the occupants of the van "pray for the child."
Finally, paramedics and other police officers arrived and helped calm the unsettled officer. This officer, whose job it is to keep the peace, enforce the law, defend the constitution, and keep potentially dangerous situations calm apparently failed to meet all of those criterion. He ordered people in his custody (remember, as soon as you are pulled over, you are technically in custody) to pray, which is illegal and unconstitutional. He failed to control the situation, becoming visibly and audibly shaken when confronted with a birth situation, which police officers are trained to handle. He certainly failed to show the dignity that police officers should display while on duty. But did the news anchor present this? No, she simply called him a hero. All praise Officer Turner! Hallelulia and Amen!
[Avery] 2/3/00
Ok, I've seen this ad for the "World's Hottest Co-Eds"
video on late-night cable TV one too many times. What sort of
people are big enough losers to shell out $19.99 for this tape?
I mean, are enough people that hard up to see a pair of college-girl
boobs that they can justify to run this ad hour-after-hour, day-after-day?
Take the 20 dollars and get a lap dance already. Sheesh!
[Avery] 2/4/00
Janet and I went to a new Mexican Restaurant, Puerto Vallarta,
in West Hartford Center last night. Long story short: 45 minute
wait that ending up being closer to 25 minutes, one good margarita
(when I specified exactly how to make it to the bartender
- Herradura, triple sec and fresh lime juice), one sucky margarita
(when the waiter misunderstood "Negra Modelo" as I pointed
to it on the beer list and instead brought me an "1800 margarita"
made from phosphorescent green sweet-and-sour mix and rotgut Cuervo
1800 tequila), one fucked up conversation between two "Yuppettes"
as they discussed another Mexican restaurant that was opening
in Simsbury (which is in fact an On The Border, part of a chain
of Tex-Mex restaurants for people who think that Chili's is haute
cuisine and TGI Fridays is a real bistro), bizarre (yet tasty)
tomato-and-chicken tortilla soup, overpriced (yet tasty) carnitas
de puerco that was so large that it could have fed a family of
four for two nights, a 10 minute wait for the tortillas that were
supposed to come with the carnitas, a conversation with the maitre
'd to finally get the aforementioned tortillas, burnt fingers
from picking up the aforementioned tortillas, two large styrofoam
containers to carry the rest of the food home in, a forty dollar
bill and a $1.50 parking tab.
Quote of the night - Avery to Bartender - Fifteen dollars for two margaritas? Bartender to Avery - Herradura's expensive tequila. Avery to Self - Yeah, but a whole bottle is only 25 dollars and I could make 15 margaritas out of it.
[Avery] 2/4/00
What is E! Entertainment Television's obsession with Jenna Jameson?
Every ad break they pimp her new pin-up calendar. Uh... not to
overstate the obvious, but Jenna Jameson is a PORN STAR! She's
not a pin-up like Cheryl Ladd or Farrah Fawcett in the 70s...
she's a hardcore porn star! This isn't a television star that
did some cheesecake pin-up posters or a model-turned-Playboy centerfold
that did some revealing bikini-clad calendars. This is a person
who can be seen on a multitude of videos being penetrated by objects
as vast and varied that the mind boggles. This is the thing that
a television network hawks during primetime?
I'm certainly not a prude here, and you'll never hear me spout anything anti-porn or anti-sex... but something here just ain't kosher...