Avery continues with his writing in the style of his original website, Scowl, Nu? This time, he takes on his arch nemesis, the Vampire Muzio!
[Avery] 2/18/00
Well, the snow is here once again. First Miles "The Vulture"
Muzio (the mildly vampirish-looking late-night meteorologist from
WFSB Channel 3 News) started off last night with a fire-and-brimstone
monologue at 11:03pm about what "could be the worst storm
of the year." Then, during his schtick later in the broadcast,
he admits that the storm will probably start off as snow near
noon but turn into rain before the PM rush. Fine.
9am, three hours ahead of schedule, the snow starts. Hard. Not blizzard hard, but fast and consistent to the point where most of us realized that we were in for a couple of inches. At my office, plans for lunch are discussed.
Noon. We decide that Big-Ass-Truck-Owning-Vinnie should probably drive because the snow is still coming down. We make it to the pizzeria, get the pizza and make it back with no incident. For the biggest storm of the year, it wasn't putting out that much more than the previous two storms.
3pm. Still snowing. Bets are made regarding the Vampire-predicted imminent change from snow to rain.
3:30pm. Still snowing. Three or so inches of accumulation on the ground and no sign of it letting up soon. A quick check on intellicast determines that the Vampire was wrong... we'll get snow until it turns into freezing rain. Great.
4:00pm. Mass exodus from the office. Vinnie, Molly and I start the process of scraping/brushing the snow off of the car. I suddenly realize that the $3.95 I spent on the super-deluxe snow scraper/brush was one of the best investments of my life. Then I see Vinnie's extendible-to-three-feet-long snow brush and feel mildly inadequate. It passes quickly.
4:10pm. With the snow removed, I leave for home. The highway is essentially un-plowed, reducing the drive to about 30 miles per hour.
4:20pm. Get sick of radio personalities talking about how glad they are that they don't have to be on the road. Put on CD.
4:30pm. Get sick of CD, put radio back on. Realize that if I was driving my normal speed, I would be home by now. Unfortunately, I am just approaching the halfway point.
4:40pm. A bit of luck in West Hartford - the plows came through at exit 40 allowing traffic to proceed at a more manageable speed. I make the last 6 miles in about 8 minutes. More luck, someone had done a little plowing in my neighborhood and I was able to make it up the driveway in one try.
5:00pm. Still snowing.
6:00pm. Still snowing. Janet and I order pizza.
10pm. Still snowing.
11:03pm. The Vampire comes on and informs us that... surprise... the snow stayed as snow and there would be no rain. No shit, Miles.
Midnight. Snow starts changing to rain.
[Avery] 2/19/00
Yeah, it was still snowing at 8am, and if you believed all of
the chatter on the news, you would think that it was more dangerous
to be on the roads here in Connecticut than ... let's say... Chechnya
or Bosnia. It's just a little snow, people... just like we get
every freaking year. Grow up, get in your cars and just drive
at a reasonable speed and you'll be fine.
No... because of all of the Vampire-induced hype, most stores opened late... and many just decided the night before that they were going to declare a "snow emergency" and just not open. I guess they were surprised when the snow stopped at 10am and it became a nice day out. Freaking chickenshits.