I am not a stupid person. This is not to say that everything I do is perfect or that I always make the right decisions. And I'll be honest; I don't know how to program a VCR, I barely understand computers and video games became foreign concepts to me after the original Mario Brothers waned in popularity. So in some cases I am behind the times but this does not make me stupid or simple-minded. I,m just extremely lazy. The facts of the matter are that I was a national merit scholar, go to a very good University and made deans list this year. My point here is not to brag, but rather to ponder why it is that despite my academic achievements and enchanting demeanor people will still treat me like a friggin, five year old the moment I mention that I like professional wrestling.
What, exactly, is it about professional wrestling fans that makes other people treat us like inbred hicks? While it is true that some wrestling fans are, in fact, inbred hicks the vast majority of us are intelligent, interesting, and well rounded people who should be treated with respect. I cannot count how many times I have been in a conversation with a person and midway through disclosed my passion for the WWF. Now by then the person has gotten to know me a little and can plainly see that not only can I form sentences but I can do so intelligently. It should be obvious that I possess at the very least average intelligence and that while not a genius I have a good grasp of the world including the lines between fantasy and reality. Yet, as soon as my position regarding wrestling is disclosed the person's face suddenly goes blank. They stare at me as if I had just admitted to fucking sheep. There is a look of slight trepidation in their eyes as if I might suddenly brandish a steel chair and whack them with it. Then they say it, the one phrase I have come to hate more than any other known to man, "You know it's fake don't you?
Do these morons honestly believe that this is a revelation to me? Have I been living under my bed for the past ten years?? They then wait for me to fall to me knees tearfully thanking them for saving my wasted life by forcing the blinding light of truth upon me. Assholes. For the love of all that is holy I am 21 years old, of course I know wrestling is fake you pig fuckers!! Honestly, and they think I'M the idiot? One time this year at college I showed this weasely little freshman my room. He looked around at my WWF figurines, my talking Undertaker, my poster of Chynna and row of WWF T-shirts hanging in my closet. He then declared that this was "really pathetic". Perhaps this little prick didn't notice that I could have easily bench pressed his sorry ass but believe me I could have. I could also have thrown him over my shoulder like a little girl and slapped his ass till he started crying for his mommy....but that would have only reinforced his image of me as an illiterate savage.
Let,s face it, wrestling fans get a bum rap. We are regarded as immature, idiotic and immoral by the masses of people who just don,t get it. I would love to see that little freshman bastard walk up to Mark Calloway (aka Undertaker) and tell him that what he does is pathetic. I would later encourage my boyfriend to piss on his grave. To all my fellow wrestling fans I salute your loyalty and devotion to the wonderful world of sports entertainment. And to all those opposed, let me present a few facts to challenge your tiny minds:
1) Wrestlers do their job all year round. There are no off seasons or any crap like that. It may be scripted but it is more athletic than any "legitimate sport".
2) I have been alive 21 years and counting and have had the pleasure of meeting a wide variety of wrestling fans. None of them were idiots or inbred hicks. Some were all grown up and had respectable careers.
3) WWF sent several wrestlers to schools in order to talk to kids about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. The Big Boss Man donates generously to children's charities and helped build a play ground recently. And yet you insist on seeing them as moronic brutes. Hmmm.
4) Mick Foley and the Rock are both best selling authors. Chynna speaks fluent Spanish and studied in Spain, Bradshaw has a talent for the stock market. So much for wrestlers being ignorant.
Finally I don't want people to think that I am trying to blast all non-wrestling fans. I'm not. If you don't like wrestling, that's your business and I have several friends who don't and we get along fine. I am, however, blasting the self-righteous dick-heads who are so petty and small minded that they have to liven up their sad little lives by trying to make wrestling fans feel bad about themselves. They are an embarrassment to the human race. But look on the bright side friends and strangers, there are more of us then there are of them. Heh heh heh.