WASHINGTON (AP) Researcher Lloyd Johnston, who has run a federally funded drug use study for 25 years, said more boys in the 8th, 10th, and 12th grades reported using steroids and linked the increase to revelations that Mark McGwire used steroids to bulk up his biceps.
HARTFORD -- Governor John Rowland called on the Connecticut Ethics Commission to allow UConn basketball coach Jim Calhoun to use the state's universities logo in advertising essentially expanding the law that prevents state employees from cashing in on their official positions the Hartford Courant reported on December 18, 1999.
The state's largest daily paper quoted the basketball fan and two-term governor as saying: I would suggest that the ethics committee come up with a determination that if any one of the companies would like to make a donations to the University of Connecticut, then they should be able to use the logo as well, Mr. Rowland said.
The commission's Executive Director Alan Plofsky has stated strongly that the standard set in 1996 should be maintained. That is when Calhoun was blocked from using the publicly funded university's image, made commercially valuable with last years NCAA Championship, in advertising campaigns for the states monopolistic phone company and a bank.
(Note: the Ethics Committee is appointed by the Governor, and the executive director is a paid job.)
A small contretemps rages here in what the local media scornfully call the land of steady habits.
Some believe (like the Governor and UConn boosters) that taxpayers should exploit the successful University of Connecticut hoop program, and permit the coach to earn more money over and above his $825,000 per year salary. Coach Calhoun is easily the highest-paid state employee in the history of the state.
But $800K plus shoe endorsements, a bank ad campaign and a phone company spokes gig won't, after taxes, put Mr. Calhoun into the Michael Jordan category, so let us figure out a way to enrich the man, and still retain our sense of, ah, ethical correctness.
After all, Calhoun has to coach kids to play basketball. To win at all costs, and he has to recruit high school students to go out to Storrs, the middle of nowhere, miles away from the temptations of NYC and Boston and put in 2 or 3 years out in the wilderness, before rolling onto the Rockets or Knicks roster.
No outdoor work, or heavy lifting is required. But it is taxing: Mr. Calhoun must deal with reporters, scumbag agents, and players who, like Umass' Marcus Camby, would party with a few hookers and roll around in nice new SUVs and so violate NCAA rules, which holds that these academic types are part of a university, and not part of the NBA (all while keeping a straight face).
Here is a solution. The State of Connecticut hires Mark McGwire and his steroid manufacturer (be it Pfizer or whoever makes the stuff) to form a company, call it Stairway to Heaven, with, of course Guv Rowland as frontman. (Yes, the same sports fan that brought the New England Patriots to Hartford. Ooops!)
Next up... Mark and the Coach recruit and pump steroids into ball players on the UConn team. This virtually insures UConn's predominance in the pre-NBA level game.
Then, the team tackles first the lowly Bulls and whips em. It then tries out Shaq and and Kobe and the Lakers. Whips them. Then, onto the Rockets and the Heat. Whips them too!
When Miami dumps Coach Pat Slick Hair Riley, guess who steps in, and grabs the huge dollars? Our man from Storrs. Everyone wins. The steroidally-pumped student players are guaranteed that NBA contract.
Coach Calhoun finally slakes his dollar thirst in the big leagues, and Mark McGwire finds a life after baseball despite drug-diminished testicles.
The Governor? He runs for president. You reckoned Ole Bill Clinton has moves around ethics questions? The GOP ain't asleep, bubba!
Oh, what about the poor schlub who once was the Executive Director of the state Ethics Commission? Gov hooks him up too: Ball boy on the New York Knickerbockers - he gets to fondle and screw all the Knick groupies.
Everybody wins ('cept the groupies, but they're out to get
screwed, by job description.)