I've been wondering recently, the media -- to be more exact, the television journalists/newscasters, are seriously a bunch of freaks.
As if the stories aren't crazy enough. You've got little kids blasting each other away, and disgruntled postal workers slipping back into their 'Nam flashbacks, now you've got these weirdos telling us all about it. None of them are normal. They're ALL abnormal, actually.
First of all, you've got the few with those crazy names. For example, "Cokie Roberts". Somebody please explain that name. Let's not forget all of those *gripping* images of, "Wolf Blitzer" in Iraq.
"Wolf?"
Yuck. And if they don't have crazy names, then they look weird. Can somebody explain to me why Sam Donaldson's mother decided to have a child with some sort of alien ferret? LOOK at the guy. Not only does he look like Spock, but he's got a horrible rug on top of it all.
And that "Bobby" something-or-other on CNN. You all know who I'm talking about. The dumb blonde with the crossed eyes?
Let's not forget the VULTURE himself, Larry King. I just know that one night I'm going to turn on the T.V. and I'll see that ring of white feathers growing around his wrinkly neck. His shoulders are attached to his damn ears.
I'm not writing this simply to make fun of all of these people. (Although I thoroughly enjoy that as well) I'm just wondering how this all happened? When did the circus freakshow get on primetime? I never remembered this when I was a child. When I was a kid, we had the goofy weatherman, and everyone else was old and normal. So I seriously think this all started with that gross murder trial we all remember so well.
It's like, as soon as O.J. slit her head off, we all became totally desensitized to anything on television. They figure, the stranger the wacko giving us the news, the more we'll be compelled to think it's worth something.
Three days of JFK Jr. was not worth something, it was damn annoying. And I swear I'm going to hit the next person who's named, "Floyd". There's news more worthy than this. There's things we'd want to see. But none of these strange looking journalists are making any effort to talk their respective owners into tackling these stories.
I think CNN is going to start hiring unshaven, smelly, four-toothed homeless drunkards to give us the news. You know, they'll cut from one camera onto the lead anchor and he'll be passed out on the desk with a bottle of Mad Dog rolling off of the counter with his face in a puddle of his own puke.
Damn...I'd tape that.