Okay, so you're looking to enter that big Sumo wrestling tournament, and you need to gain a LOT of weight in a short period of time. You know who to see, don't you??? That's right, I can help you. Let me take you on that lunch time excursion that is known throughout my circle of co-workers simply as "The Run."
We start off with my favorite meal on a bun - hot dogs. But not just anyplace will do. Its time to go to one of the GIANTS in Connecticut's hot dog history - Blackie's Drive-In in Cheshire. Going to Blackie's drive-in is like stepping back in time. Located just off I-84 at Exit 26, Blackie's is tucked into a little wooded corner, just before the Waterbury line. From the front, it looks like an old, white, double garage except for the big sign on the roof proclaiming its name in incandescent lights. During good weather, the double-doors are open to let the breeze in, but there is a smaller, standard door off to one side.
Once inside, you are faced with a long counter, with two smaller seating areas to either side. On one wall is a sign that states loudly that there is No Dancing Allowed, just above an old jukebox, and there's a pinball machine tucked away in the opposite end. Behind the counter a busy staff narrowly avoid knocking each other over while taking & preparing the orders as fast as they come in. A tip on ordering at Blackie's. First off - if you're getting hot dogs (and why would you BE here if you weren't), you don't have to say it. Just give them a number. They'll then ask you if you want anything else, and you should reply with what you want to drink & whether or not you want potato chips. Do NOT order french-fries! They don't have them, and will sneer at you if you don't know this going in ! I've even heard stories of people actually being CHARGED for a phantom order of fries, although I've never seen it.
Not long after you've given your order, you'll be presented with a paper plate with your dogs, and a white cup of soda, printed with the legend "Blackies - Voted Connecticut's Best Hot Dog !" It doesn't say WHO voted on this, but I'd find it difficult to argue with them ! The dogs themselves are standard sized Hummel's, and steamed until they burst in several places. But now is where the FUN comes in.
You'll notice that there are several condiment trays scattered across the counter, along with a few bottles of ketchup. The trays are the REAL reason that Blackie's is famous, for they contain the homemade mustard, and more importantly… The RELISH ! Blackie's relish is a wonder unto itself. It's a closely guarded secret as to the EXACT recipe & jars of it have been known to be sold at local charity auctions for as much as $50-$75. I DO know that it's made of chopped green peppers, vinegar, and spices & I love the way my upper lip tingles with every bite. Of course I DO put ketchup on my dog as well, but I'm told by folks in the know that the mustard is almost as good as the relish.
So now you've had your lunch, but what about dessert? Don't worry your little head over it... I've got you covered there as well...
Head towards Cheshire from Blackie's, and take your first right after the underpass up a LOOONG hill, past the Hypertrichologist's house (look it up, it drove me NUTS for a couple of days !) till you get to Route 6 in Prospect. Turn right onto Route 6, and after you've gone past the Prospect Dairy Bar and Benny's Guns, you'll see a brightly accented, white building in the middle of a large, unpaved lot. This is the Big Dipper - the Best Ice Cream in America !
A sign in the lot warns that, "Parking is for Customers Only- All other will be covered in Gooey Fudge and towed away!" A subtle hint to what awaits you inside... and inside it looks just like a good Ice Cream parlor should: all sorts of odds & ends, many associated with dairy farming, adorn the corners, & walls, alongside a vast array of awards and press clippings extolling the virtues of the Dipper's homemade Ice Cream (you thought I was KIDDING when I said it was the best in America, didn't you?) Dominating the room of course is the freezer cases that take up one wall of the establishment, containing ready made Ice Cream Cakes, hand packed quarts of their specialty flavors, and the 5 gallon tubs of Ice Cream.
The first thing you notice, after you stop drooling on the glass & look up, is the sign stating that they do NOT sell Ice Cream by the scoop. While you can ask for as many scoops you want, what they do is weigh the Ice Cream along with whatever container you choose (I recommend a waffle cone) and then charge you by the ounce! This ensures that you get EXACTLY what you pay for. So now that you've got all that down, its time to pick a flavor.
There's a big board on the wall that states all the flavors, but there's a good chance that all the flavors listed aren't available at that moment, so you're better off checking the cooler itself. You'll still find a dizzying array of choices, and while I have not tried them all, I have sampled enough, and heard comments from friends , to swear that they are all out of this world. My favorite so far is the Fudge Ripple. It is the richest, creamiest, most obscenely DECADENT cone I have ever consumed. And although the butterfat content is enough to not only harden your arteries, but stop them dead, you'll die with a smile on your face. And I've had more than one person tell me that the Butternut Cashew contains SOOO many cashews that there cannot POSSIBLY be any profit in selling it ! It's also the only parlor I know that carries Sweet Cream. A simple flavor of sweetened cream and nothing else, that is as sublimely delicious as anything you will ever eat !
A word of warning on the Dipper however. If you plan on going for a late-night cone in the summer, be prepared to wait. The large parking lot is usually filled to capacity most weekends till 11:00 PM. They close a little earlier the rest of the year (9:00 PM, if memory serves) but they still do a brisk business even in the coldest months.
So there you have it. Enough nitrates, sodium, sugar, fat, & cholesterol in one afternoon to send you into a coma. You have now been warned... I absolve myself from any further responsibility. But if you're gonna try making, "The Run," call me first! I'll even drive...